


Five Times No One Knew That Coulson Was From The Nightside

by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel



Series: Wayward Son of the Nightside [1]
Category: Avengers, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Nightside Series - Simon R. Green, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: BAMF Phil Coulson, Coulson has powers, Crossover, Don't Touch Lola, Gen, Humour, Secret Identity, Tea, no knowledge of the Nightside needed, no really, the Nightside is a weird and scary place
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-28
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-21 15:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/901692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel/pseuds/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The signs were all there, if anyone had simply noticed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Against a Monster

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Avengers/Nightside crossover ficlet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/900246) by [TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel/pseuds/TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel). 



> I'll add to this as ideas occur to me.
> 
> *edit*   
> For those who are interested, I wrote a brief [Introduction to the Nightside series](http://aceofannwn.dreamwidth.org/671.html) for anyone unfamiliar with it.

** One. **

It was an ordinary day for the Avengers, which meant that a large, turtle-like creature had crawled out of the Hudson River and begun rampaging through Manhattan. It was covered with armoured plates, which made doing it any kind of injury difficult.

Things kicked up a notch when they discover that the creature also breathed fire.

One of the buildings that the animal brought down was the building that Clint happened to be perched on, and he didn’t quite make it out of the way in time. The creature continued on its way… heading directly for the school that was still in the process of being evacuated.

“Hawkeye, status,” Phil said urgently. After a moment, a pained groan answered him.

“Fucked, sir,” Hawkeye responded, pain evident in his voice. “Broken arm. Sorry, sir.”

“Shit,” Phil swore. Hawkeye was down – but if no one took the creature out – 

Unholstering his gun he ran forward until he was almost at the thing’s feet. Opening up his metaphysical third eye, he looked until his Sight found the perfect path to take out the one place where the creature’s armoured plates didn’t quite meet.

He fired.

The creature staggered, swayed, and fell. Phil barely got out of the way in time. There was stunned silence as the dust cleared.

“Holy shit, sir,” Clint said reverently.

“Seconded,” said Tony, sounding just as awed.

Phil holstered his gun, dusted down his suit jacket, and walked back to the SHIELD van as though nothing had happened.


	2. Don't Touch Lola

** Two. **

To the uneducated eye, Lola appeared to be an old red Corvette, lovingly maintained and in pristine condition, but still, in the end, just a car. To Phil, however, she was a 2059 Stark Industries Classic Car Series Fully Automated Vehicular Intelligence (with SHIELD-optional extras). 

She’d named herself Lola, after the song, and refused to play anything through her speakers but big band music or, incomprehensibly, Justin Bieber (Phil stuck to big band music).

Phil tolerated this because she was a beauty of a car and met the most stringent safety protocols, and because she had a hidden armoury that James Bond’s DB5 could only dream of. (When Phil said “Don’t touch Lola,” he _meant_ it. An Austrian assassin had tried to shoot out her tires once. Bits of him had decorated the highway shortly afterwards. Phil was glad he was off-duty at the time, because he was able to flee the scene before anyone realised he was connected to it.)

Occasionally, Lola even let him drive. 


End file.
